Narcissism and Technology: Symptom, Cause, or Carry On?

17 thoughts on “Narcissism and Technology: Symptom, Cause, or Carry On?”

1. I agree with Turkle and Colbert; we shouldn’t get rid of technology but put it in its place. There are so many pros and cons to the technology we have today. Pros- we can communicate with people more easily than we have been able to before. We are able to tell our significant other than we can accidentally left something in the oven or that we’ll be five minutes late. We can improve our self-esteem by taking selfies or posting Facebook statuses about our accomplishments, or even make a Selfie book like Kim Kardashian did. We can create powerpoints for presentations or do homework assignments like we are doing now. The amount of improvement technology has in our lives is limitless, but there are also cons. Con- Communication becomes a lot easier and birthday wishes and congratulations become less personal. We get distracted by all of the technology we have rather than focusing on the big picture of things. When it comes to technology, there definitely should be a good balance of when to use it and when to not. Do we really need to play Candy Crush while we’re talking to a friend on the train? Do you really have to use Facebook to congratulate a couple on their engagement?

2. While there are some opportunities to build social skills and establish communities through forums and gaming websites, I believe the biggest problems that today’s technology are creating are isolation and immaturity. The online community uses avatars, leading people to love the character they have established for themselves more than their actual self. This dependence as well as “Alone Together”‘s argument of being unable to fill an emotional void demonstrate our inability to recognize how unsuccessful the relationships we build through technology are. Furthermore, I agree with the concept that since so many individuals are growing up with technology instead of play as their social outlet they are choosing to opt out of learning basic social skills. This puts them at a large disadvantage because many aspects of later life are dependent on having these skills-such as how being able to share translates into being a good driver or being able to cooperate can make you a good team player in business.

   1. I am pretty anti-technology. Of course I see its benefit, and I see its neccesity as a college student. However, I enjoy my time much more engaging in other activities. I do find myself at times getting sucked into the internet, and I wish this was not the case. I have so many things I enjoy so much more that I could be doing. I agree that the online world can be a cop out for learning social skills. I especially worry about the children today who navigate technology better than I can. It is difficult for parents to encourage their children to do other things, when it is so much easier to let them entertain themselves with technology.

3. First off, I completely agree with calling friends and family for birthdays and all holidays vs simply writing a facebook post. I think many people use technology as crutch or easy way out, it is making society extremely lazy. Why don’t we just pick up our cell phones and call instead of using them to type a generic post? I do think social media has made people more self-absorbed however, narcissism was still alive before social media, social media has just made everything more accessible to the world. Although there are many criticisms of technology, there are also many benefits and ways technology and even social media has helped society. Time and time again people of the world have come together over the internet to help and support other humans, to share stories and spread awareness.

4. I agree with Turkle in that we are not strong enough to counter technologies’ “pull” and that this is creating isolation among people in our society. This isolation then perpetuates the use of more technology to seek connections, but actually makes us more and more alone. It’s always amazing to me that I can be in a roomful of my friends who are hanging out together, yet, no one is actually talking to one another because everyone is on their phones texting. In this case, everyone wants to feel connected to other people and they do this through texting others (instead of talking to their friends in the room) and this only further perpetuates the loneliness and need for more connections, and thus creates a greater dependence on technology. I like the ideas of the “small” things we can do to enhance our connections, like calling people on their birthdays instead of sending them a facebook comment. I think this is really important and a step toward developing a society where technology can be used for its many beneficial features but is not over-used and depended upon for social interactions.

5. I agree with you, Dr Sharp when you say that technology is not good or bad. I see the benefits of technology, one being that it makes staying connected with friends and family so much easier. I think Facebook will always be relevant because its been able to connect people to one another regardless of global location, age, time etc. It’s also a great forum for sharing photos, videos and important news, personal or factual. Technology also makes common tasks easier and faster. Just like when you mentioned online games. If someone wants to play a certain game, he/she doesn’t have to wait around for real people or friends to do so. You can virtually do anything you want online ( online dating, ordering food etc) which is why I think technology is so addictive. However, there is a downside. Technology can also put people in contact with others with bad intentions. It makes it easier for predators and bullies to do damage. I also think that technology, specifically in the realm of social media, can be a quick fix for insecurities, which is not good. Take Instagram, for example. It’s one of my favorite apps because I like to see people’s photos and I also like to post pictures, but why do we post? Most people post for likes, because likes make them feel important. I’m not going to lie, it feels good when other people think I look good or like what I’m doing. It’s a confidence booster and I think for some people, they base their whole lives around how many likes they get. That’s not healthy at all! I also think that instagram promotes competition. How many Kardashian selfies will it take, for people to stop comparing themselves to that standard? That’s the part of technology that scares me. I keep telling myself that when I have kids, I want them to not be glued to the TV, video games or social media for those reasons.

6. Technology suffers the same fate as most things we see in our lives. It’s like religious practices. If you read the original scriptures for any religion, the principles and teachings are beautiful. The preachings and messages are very noble and have very good intentions at heart. However, every person reads the same text and interprets it differently. Over time a lot of the practices that were intended to do good for people, got misconstrued and hindered the well-being of the same people. Technology is the same. People created it to facilitate conversation and exchange of knowledge; not to replace the conversation that was already there. Technology has not increased emotional and social immaturity, our choice of how we use technology has.

7. Trukle’s quote that Dr. William Sharp shared above that “we are drawn by the illusion of companionship without the demands of intimacy… we turn to new technology to fill the void. But as technology ramps up, our emotional lives ramp down” is a really powerful quote. It is no secret that our society has become heavily reliant on communication through the use of technology and social media cites. In many ways it has helped us stay connected to those in our lives that are unable to be present, or perhaps live in a different time zone making it difficult to arrange times for telephone communication. Instead we are now able to keep and build these relationships through the use of texting, email, Facebook messages, etc. I do believe however that there are appropriate times to use your phone and communicate with those who are not present. Communication is important, but face to face communication is vital and should not be put aside when it is available.. true companionship involves “the demands of intimacy” and should not be avoided. So I agree with Dr. Sharp that technology is not neccessarly good or bad, it is how we choose to apply these technologies in our everyday lives that makes the difference.

   1. I am intrigued by the comparison of technology to parallel vs. cooperative play in child development. Young children are often viewed as self-centric when operating in their world. In this way, we observe that children engaged in parallel play do not display an understanding for complex social interactions (such as taking turns, letting other people make decisions, and responding appropriately when non-prefered situations occur). When compared to society’s use of technology, it can be seen that there is connection between this type of child development, given that the internet often lets people avoid having their frustration tolerances exceeded. Hopefully, with due self-reflection, people will avoid regressing to a parallel play-like stage when it comes to technology use, and will better interact with technology for all the great things it has allowed society to achieve.

8. I am rather intrigued by the comparison of parallel play and cooperative play in child development versus our current use to technology. We tend to associate a kind of self-centrism with young children, in which they do not understand the social complexity of interacting with others (such as taking turns, allowing others to have input, and responding appropriately when things do not align with our preferences). These responses in turn manifest themselves as “parallel play” where children may play alongside peers, but not really “with them.” The suggestion by Dr. Sharp that we may see a regression to this stage of development (ie., not the “cooperative play” stage) is interesting. I agree that society uses the internet to avoid exceeding their frustration tolerance, as people can seemingly always find someone who agrees with, and therefore validates, them. In a similar way, I would hope that this does not imply a total lack of frustration tolerance, as much as it emphasizes our compulsion to be validated by others. In this way, caution towards why the internet is used requires self-reflection on the part of each person.

9. I am intrigued by the comparison of technology to parallel vs. cooperative play in child development. Young children are often viewed as self-centric when operating in their world. In this way, we observe that children engaged in parallel play do not display an understanding for complex social interactions (such as taking turns, letting other people make decisions, and responding appropriately when non-prefered situations occur). When compared to society’s use of technology, it can be seen that there is connection between this type of child development, given that the internet often lets people avoid having their frustration tolerances exceeded. Hopefully, with due self-reflection, people will avoid regressing to a parallel play-like stage when it comes to technology use, and will better interact with technology for all the great things it has allowed society to achieve.

10. This notion that technology is completely changing how human beings interact and think is scary to think about, but should not be ignored. It doesn’t take long to notice that nearly every single person around you is completely immersed in technology, instead of paying attention to what is right in front of them, real life. People so often claim that they are not addicted or dependent on there phone or social media, yet if you take it away from that person their true colors show. I really like how Dr. Sharp suggests that next time you are out with friends, putting everyone’s phone in the middle of the table and first person to reach for their phone pays. I have actually done this myself and it is quite entertaining to watch. It really goes to show how dependent we are on technology and our phones. Although this exercise is hard at first, after a bit you realize how much more pleasant it is to be able to interact with company without the distractions that come along with technology. It is pathetic to see a group of friends get together only to see them all sit on their phones the entire time scrolling through social media. It is as if social media is becoming their real life and the real live friends that are right in front of you become obsolete. I completely agree with Dr. Sharp that a simple phone call is so much more powerful than writing happy birthday on someone’s Facebook page. Although technology is helpful in making our day-to-day lives substantially easier, if used incorrectly the results will likely be disastrous. For example, children cannot grow up thinking that it is normal to Facebook message a girl to ask them out on a date instead of asking in person. People are becoming so intent on what others are doing on social media instead of worrying about what is going on in real life. Anyone can pose in front of a cool place and look happy with their friends. That has absolutely no indication that the person is truly happy. On the contrary, the need to get reinforcement through “likes” and “comments” just goes to show that these people are likely very insecure. Like anything, technology should be used in moderation. Obviously, there isn’t going to become a ban on technology, even if a study did come out showing that its side effects were detrimental. There are numerous temptations in the world and it is up to the individual to express self-control and moderate how much they use technology. In my opinion, a good rule of thumb is that technology and social media should be used as a tool, not a way of life. Face-to-face, human interaction is as important now as it has ever been. As soon we stop thinking that way, society is doomed.

11. I am definitely of the mindset that technology is neither good nor bad inherently- the same goes for humanity. Humans are not necessarily born as either “good guys” or “bad guys,” although I am sure there are a few exceptions here and there. One thing that humans absolutely ARE born as, is dangerously selfish. In many ways, this is an evolutionary necessity. And modern technology is simply another canvas for which humans can paint their inherent selfishness onto, if they so choose. The urge to do so is incredibly potent, and I can only imagine that as technology becomes more and more involved in our development from babies to children to adults, this urge will become more and more difficult to resist as the opportunities to satisfy it become more and more normalized and routine, and even become a part of us as we develop. I do think that the impact of technology will eventually become more positive than negative- as long as we don’t use it to destroy ourselves first. Once a sentient being becomes aware of itself as its nervous system develops, its first concern automatically becomes its own welfare and mediated survival. Prior to that, the most dangerous stage in which it poses a threat to itself is during the period in which that system is growing and developing and becoming mature, where it lashes out selfishly without thought or care for the consequences. Much like the neural connections that connect mind to body and allow an organism to properly fend for itself, the Internet and technology will eventually connect mankind and allow it to prioritize its own welfare as a whole in a mediated manner. Until then, we have to survive this stage of chaotic narcissism that threatens to destroy us. If we can do that, I believe that humans will be able to come together and with the widespread availability of information and communication, to solve the problems that currently plague us, together. Just like the goal of psychoanalysis is to generate a realistic self-awareness in an individual, the current goal for mankind is to generate a realistic self-awareness as a species.

12. Technology is neither good nor bad; it has positive aspects to it and it has negative aspect to it. As Sharp notes, it is what we make of it. I believe technology in the form of social media sites acts as a platform to express our internalized narcissism. It allows us to, without much judgment, boast about our successes, show off what we are doing, and how great we look doing it. There are individual who will thrive on this need of approval that comes from “likes” on the Internet. These individuals likely due to a lack of confidence may score high on narcissism scales and in turn will seek attention not only in real like, but also virtually. I feel that the amount of narcissists is the same in every generation. It may simply be that millennials, from a young age, have had a way to express this narcissism that previous generations did not. It will be interesting to observe how this amount, increases in the coming years. I do believe that we cannot solely rely on interaction with an inanimate object in the form of a laptop or phone for the social interaction we require. I do feel that the affection you get from human to human contact is so much more important than a couple texts or a wall post. Making a phone call, or going the extra couple miles to see a friend, who you keep promising you will, keeps relationships alive and will leave a warmer feeling in your heart afterwards.

13. Too often our society is concerned with instant gratification, and we indirectly mirror our waking lives to our online lives, creating unrealistic standard and realities. I do believe that while some aspects of social media and technology are beneficial, there should be a limit to understanding that social media is not real, rather prepped. I do think that social media can have some negative psychological effects. According to the article “Seeing everyone else’s highlight reels: How Facebook usage is linked to depressive symptoms,” an increased amount of time on Facebook was correlated to depressive symptoms in participants. In their research, Steers et al. executed a study to measure social comparison with depressive symptomology in correlation to the time that individuals spend on Facebook. The results of the study were not too surprising. The “analysis revealed that time on Facebook was positively related to depressive symptoms for both males and females” (Steers et al., 2014). The way that I believe technology and social media should be viewed- is viewed as a tool, instead of a lifestyle. I do believe that there is a level of narcissism throughout the over-use of social media. I believe, like Dr. Sharp states, that reaching out and making real, human connections can “bring us back down to earth”.

14. I find a lot of this subject matter to be very interesting. I agree with the position that technology has in fact given the young generation a method with which we can avoid the challenges as tough experiences that come with growing up. I think that this has created a disconnect between the dreams of my generation for big-time success and the work we are willing to put into get there. I sometimes find myself as an example of this. My endurance to push myself through pain are not high, and I do not always prioritize in alignment with my goals. But as stated in the text, changing this is not impossible. The benefits of technology are vast, and as Turkle writes, “Technology is only bad because people are not as strong as its pull,” (quoted from Sharp, p.123).
    We have to fight our urge to take the easy route and avoid the inevitable narcissistic injuries that we will face while maturing.

    The value of true friendship is indescribable, but creates such palpable feelings of positivity when fostered. I think a lot of this focus on Facebook and social media alike rob us of our ability to foster friendship. I have found this to be true through personal experience. The fragility and self-centered preoccupations that a low-grade narcissist or a modern social media addict experience take away from the moments when one is with friends. To be in the moment as yourself, comfortable, expecting nothing from those around you, simply valuing the moment, that is a gift that we can all feel, and we all deserve to feel. For some it is more at the surface, and for others it is buried deep within underneath a smattering of technological mush.

    To quote Sharp’s ‘Talking Helps’, “…We cannot try to use somebody to make ourselves feel better – in this case, less alone – because fundamentally the other person is not going to serve that function all the time, thus leaving us frustrated. Instead, we must find within ourselves what we feel we are missing. Ironically when we do that, we are able to enter into a relationship without expectations and hopes of the other being our cure. We are less likely to engage in projecting and transference. The other can be who they truly are, thus, real in the here and now. Often this creates strong connections between people…” (p.126) I found this text to be very empowering, and I believe it attests to the fact that although technology is not helping the problem of a narcissistic generation, it is not making it impossible to change.

15. I think this is a very interesting topic and I find myself agreeing with Dr. Sharp. Technology is neither good nor bad but humans don’t have enough self control to avoid it’s lure. Technology is something I have thought more about as I’ve gotten further into my university studies. I personally am studying psychology and a lot of my classes have begun to address how to use technology within sessions and as a tool, suggesting we intern with text messaged based crisis centers and mentioning therapy apps as solutions. I think this speaks to how integrated into our lives technology has become and I am deeply curious of the effects it will bring in the future. In his book, Dr. Sharp mentions that online communication is much like a zombie eating brains; we consume ferociously but we are never sated because it lacks any permanent fulfillment of needs. So when my teachers describe trying to use technology as a source of connection or therapy, I find myself cringing. I feel like if those options exist people using them might find themselves hurt more than helped and may become more resistant to in vivo therapy. I think it admirable that Sharp wants us to but down the phones and make real connection and personally I strive to do this but I definitely think trying to change a population is losing battle. I think Freud would agree with me when I say the only person we can control is ourselves. And, unfortunately some people refuse to see how important real connections are and find denial to be the only digestible solution.

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